This Won't Hurt A Bit...
by Leo L. Schwab
The TRAINER and TRAINING SUPERVISOR are envisioned to have
Germanic/Russian accents. The INTERVIEWER is your basic Twink
AMBIENT FX: Cooling fans; possibly 60 Hz hum.
- Are you ready?
- Uh, yeah...
- Then we'll begin.
FX: Toggle switch, equipment powering up.
- Which home gaming system has the best sound?
- Oh, that's easy. The 3DO Interactive Multiplayer has 16-bit CD-quality
stereo sound, and some titles even use Dolby Surround...
FX: Electric shock.
- Wrong. Nintendo has the best sound.
- (in pain) Uh, yeah...
- Now, which home gaming system has the best graphics?
- Well, the 3DO has ultra-sharp 24-bit color graphics and animates up to
64 million pixels per second...
FX: Stronger electric shock.
- Nintendo has the best graphics.
- (in pain) Yeah, best graphics...
- Now then, which system has the best games?
- Oh, 3DO by far! There's the pounding action of Road Rash, the stunning
camera work in FIFA Soccer, the rich storyline of Shockwave, the refreshing
uniqueness of Twisted...
FX: Extraordinarily vicious electric shock.
- (with deliberation) Nintendo has the best games.
- (extreme pain) Yeah, anything you say.
- (aside) What do you think?
- Training Supervisor
- Give him another couple hours.
AMBIENT FX: Silence
- Voice Over
- You don't need electroshock therapy to know that the 3DO Interactive
Multiplayer is a tough act to beat. With the power of compact discs, 3DO
offers sound, graphics, and gameplay with a richness that will astound you.
AMBIENT FX: Urban city street.
- We're selected this man on the street at random to tell us which gaming
system he believes is best.
- (droning) Nintendo is God, Nintendo is God, Nintendo is God...
- (annoyed) CUT!
AMBIENT FX: Silence.
- Voice Over
- 3DO. The most advanced interactive home entertainment system in the
Copyright © 1996 Leo L. Schwab. All Rights Reserved.
Leo L. Schwab / Digital Spellweaver /